May 13, 2013

May 31, 2013

(Please Read: Google has reintroduced the thumbnails at the bottom of the photos after you double click on any image. All photographs are mine unless otherwise noted.)

   This blog was never posted and all it has are a few potots I took two weeks ago while enjoying the on rush of Spring here in Maine. 

   Lee and I will be in Grand Manan until the 9th so I will not post until the following Monday. This is vacation time and we will be staying at a cottage on the ocean called "Dorothy." I believe I posted photos on these pages from our time there last year.

   In Buddhism "Metta" or Loving Kindness is a worthy practice that can bring peace and equanimity to troubled times in life. Here is a brief version of the Metta Prayer:

-Metta Prayer -

May you be held in the heart of lovingkindness

May you be free from inner and outer harm

May you be well

May you have ease of well-being

May your life be of service to all beings

May you come to know great and natural peace

May you awaken and be free

   Here is a full sung version of the Metta Sutra as sung by Imee Ooi offered as a meditation piece. The full translation is at the end of this post after the cartoon. It is easy to follow as the Pali and its English translation are side by side. 

    Click here:   https://www.box.com/s/35etms0fbkura84avpdy  

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Where I live, physically and sometimes emotionally 

All below is without comment as Spring is to be enjoyed

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Some humor:

It was a heck of a retreat last week

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The Chant Of Metta - Sung by Imee Ooi

Click Here:  https://www.box.com/s/35etms0fbkura84avpdy   

Aham avero homi abyapajjho homi anigho homi sukhi-attanam pariharami Mama matapitu acariya ca natimitta ca sabrahma-carino ca avera hontu abyapajjha hontu anigha hontu sukhi-attanam pariharantu Imasmim arame sabbe yogina avera hontu abyapajjha hontu anigha hontu sukhi-attanam pariharantu Imasmim arame sabbe bhikkhu samanera ca upasaka-upasikayo ca avera hontu abyapajjha hontu anigha hontu sukhi-attanam pariharantu Amhakam catupaccaya-dayaka avera hontu abyapajjha hontu anigha hontu sukhi-attanam pariharantu Amhakam arakkha devata imasmim vihare imasmim avase imasmim arame arakkha devata avera hontu abyapajjha hontu anigha hontu sukhi-attanam pariharantu  Sabbe satta sabbe pana sabbe bhuta sabbe puggala sabbe attabhava-pariyapanna sabba itthiyo sabbe purisa sabbe ariya sabbe anariya sabbe deva sabbe manussa sabbe vinipatika avera hontu abyapajjha hontu anigha hontu sukhi-attanam pariharantu Dukkha mucantu Yatha-laddha-sampattito mavigacchantu Kammassaka Puratthimaya disaya pacchimaya disaya uttaraya disaya dakkhinaya disaya puratthimaya anudisaya pacchimaya anudisaya uttaraya anudisaya dakkhinaya anudisaya hetthimaya disaya uparimaya disaya sabbe satta sabbe pana sabbe bhuta sabbe puggala sabbe attabhava-pariyapanna sabba itthiyo sabbe purisa sabbe ariya sabbe anariya sabbe deva sabbe manussa sabbe vinipatika avera hontu abyapajjha hontu anigha hontu sukhi-attanam pariharantu Dukkha muccantu Yatha-laddha-sampattito mavigacchantu Kammassaka Uddham yava bhavagga ca adho yava aviccito samanta cakkavalesu ye satta pathavicara abyapajjha nivera ca nidukha ca nupaddava

May I be free from enmity and danger May I be free from mental suffering May I be free from physical suffering May I take care of myself happily May my parents teachers, relatives and friends fellow Dhammafarers be free from enmity and danger be free from mental suffering be free from physical suffering May they take care of themselves happily May all yogis in this compound be free from enmity and danger be free from mental suffering be free from physical suffering May they take care of themselves happily May all monks in this compound novice monks laymen and laywomen disciples be free from enmity and danger be free from mental suffering be free from physical suffering May they take care of themselves happily May our donors of the four supports be free from enmity and danger be free from mental suffering be free from physical suffering May they take care of themselves happily May our guardian devas in this monastery in this dwelling in this compound may the guardian devas be free from enmity and danger be free from mental suffering be free from physical suffering May they take care of themselves happily  May all beings all breathing things all creatures all individuals all personalities may all females all males all noble one all worldlings all deities all humans all those in the four woeful planes be free from enmity and danger be free from mental suffering be free from physical suffering may they take care of themselves happily May all beings be free from suffering May whatever they have gained not be lost All beings are owners of their kamma In the eastern direction in the western direction in the northern direction in the southern direction in the southeast direction in the northwest direction in the northeast direction in the southwest direction in the direction below in the direction above may all beings all breathing things all creatures all individuals all personalities may all females all males all noble one all worldlings all deities all humans all those in the four woeful planes be free from enmity and danger be free from mental suffering be free from physical suffering may they take care of themselves happily May all beings be free from suffering May whatever they have gained not be lost All beings are owners of their kamma As far as the highest plane of existence to as far down as the lowest plane in the entire universe whatever beings that move on earth may they be free from mental suffering & enmity and from physical suffering and danger

May 28, 2013

May 28, 2013

(Please Read: Google has reintroduced the thumbnails at the bottom of the photos after you double click on any image which will bring up the photos in full screen. All photographs are mine unless otherwise noted.)

   I am back from an eight day retreat in the Jesuit House that goes by the name of "Eastern Point" located in Gloucester Massachuettes. It is a fifty plus room house where myself, forty seven other retreatants and the staff spent the days in silence, with the exception of daily Mass and meetings with a Spiritual Director once a day. Over the years I have done many retreats of this duration where I treasure the silence and the chance to meet God by seeing more clearly where I block God out from daily life in the busyness of the world we live in. 

   Most people I tell of this kind of experience seem somewhat apalled by the idea of spending so much time in silence. In actuality this is an easy retreat to go through as books, journals, CD players with earphones, and the house itself with many places to comtemplate along with magnificent grounds to walk and enjoy make it a generally good experience. The Buddhist retreats on the other hand are something that I am not ready to try. Nothing is allowed for a minium of ten days (the basic starter retreat) by way of books, journals or any writing materials, and the days are spent in meditation - sitting and walking, in complete silence. For me, a yet to try event if I become ready to take the advice of my mentors in Buddhism and go on such a retreat. 

   I did work the directions of a course I am taking on "Photography As A Christian Contemplative Practice." A few of the photos I took in this context are posted this week. The first picture is the house I was in so you can see something of the place. The rest are about looking and trying to see something of the "Reality" of what is always in front of me. A parting of some of the veils so to speak. I added several poems I wrote while there by way of something of an explanation of where I was at in my ponderings. 
   

The House

Five A.M. from the window of my room.

            - Thinking –

In the Howling Storm of Love,

Of what use is the intellect –

Analyze what?

Reason what?

Annihilation in this Weather

Is the opening of the heart –

Allowing God to escape from the tomb we built

By opening the long closed doors that never had a key.

Think less, be often.

                                             Bill Lagerstrom,  May 15, 2013

Waiting for the internal weather to ease up.

- Refuge -

God has put me in the Refuge of Confusion.

A strange country, full of unknown and known Truths,

All in The Image of The One who once chased me down dark streets –

The Face of the Love, the Lover I now seek.

Deliverance from chains that bound me to myself,

Standing at the door of God's Very Self –

Myself, messy, confused, an unsightly life,

Brought here against my idea of comfort, into God's Discomfort.

This is God's Presence?

"Yes."

Why am I disoriented?

"Yes."

Is this You Lord?

"You tell me."

                                                 Bill Lagerstrom,   May-15-2013

Even in the seeming dark places of our internal landscape

we can find wonders of beauty and light

Simplicity

Weathering the storm 

is the act of hanging on,

staying rooted,

 and 

standing face into the wind.

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Some Humor:

The Old Dog Bill on retreat in a bad moment

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and below

Why we retreat from the world occasionally

Peace until next week,  Bill Lagerstrom

May 6, 2013

May 6, 2013

(Please Read: Google has reintroduced the thumbnails at the bottom of the photos after you double click on any image. All photographs are mine unless otherwise noted.)

   Spring has arrived! All I have since time is an issue and spontaneous poetry is at this moment flat, are a few photos I took over the weekend.

   Take a listen to a short piece of music - Tchaikovsky, The Waltz Of The Flowers - Six minutes 

    Click here: https://www.box.com/s/f3b297754f6db118dd00

  ( I am including at the end of this post the full poem I wrote on the dying of a man I sat with a few months ago. It has taken this long to put things in perspective. )
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Grass begins its march

into the hearts of all lovers of Spring

Not unlike the butterfly breaking loose from its cacoon

the first flower of Spring reveals 

what has been in the seed pod all Winter,

as an exact minature of what it is to become. 

I am taking a course on Comtemplative Photography,

this week the assignment was to take fifty photos of a small area of view -

all were tossed save this one, number fifty one.

The pine and fir trees all have their Spring as well.

Sitting on top of a low branch

a small, one half inch, sprout

begins its journey to new life.

A single strand of spider silk 

offers its welcome to the forest.

Fiddle ferns, 

fiddle faddle ferns,

faddle, phooey fiddle ferns,

Right! Fiddle Head ferns!

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   Here is my poem. If you are full of Spring leave it for another time. Yet, the poem is about another Spring that will only be seen after all our Seasons here are over. Everything for me these days is about hope and transitions.

                                   - The Vigil –

The vigil in the ICU began without my knowing the reason for it,

Until the moment arrived when the patient's breathing stopped.

Rushing out to the desk outside the room I was told, 

"Yes. We want it to stop."

Do not resuscitate, comfort care only, were the orders on the chart.

"Comfort care" echoed from the doctor at the nurse's station.

A strange term to use – what is comfortable about not breathing?

Back in the Intensive Care room the patient's breathing had returned.

And the nurse who called for me said, "I don't want him to die alone."

My role now clear I settled in a chair to observe 

   and see if I could be useful,

Calling the patient's name a few times brought no response –

Remembering past experience my job was only to sit, pray, and witness

This man's final leg of his journey, not to be a part of it.

Short prayers came and rose with few words,

"Lord, if you are ready, take this man Home."

Said perhaps five or six times, I ended all words –

What more could be said for someone about to pass the final veil ?

I saw myself in place of the man on that bed

Glimpsing the future that will one day be mine.

My preparations for my own ending continued easily

With a silent teacher who was showing me the way.

Who was comforted ? Him, or I ?

The one coming to life's destination, or this traveler looking ahead ?

The Spirit, and God's Grace were bringing the man in that bed and I close;

A dying man, a living man, both headed in the same direction.

The space around me became different as the Present Moment arrived –

Time ceased to have meaning and the Real entered quietly.

Fifteen, twenty minutes passed without notice of the clock

Until my attention rose to the screen where all lines that showed life

Slowly dropped to zero …. heart and breath were no more …..

It was time for this stranger, this brother, to cross the finish line.

 The nurse who cared, arrived, shut down the electronics,

Arranged the pillows with wet eyes even though she said she was okay.

I signed the empty body with the Cross and bowed –

"Thank you for being my teacher." was all I said.

There was no shock at death's arrival,

No drama, no relatives crying as he was completely alone

Save for my presence, my witness to a life moving on.

My being there was Grace, to see and be teachable,

A call to answer, a showing up to observe, and then, to remember.

                                                    

                                                                  Bill Lagerstrom

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A little humor:    "Two Cows"

    

A cow in Spring

A cow who tried to spring

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Peace until next week,  Bill Lagerstrom